A party of one

Ever find yourself slipping into a pity party? Feeling sorry for yourself? Complaining in your spirit about this situation or another? Or this person or another? Basically believing life is not fair and you deserve better, more or different than what you have?

It is easy to do. Often you are well into your pity party before you are even aware you are doing it. The longer you spend at your party the more intentional you will need to be to leave your party of one and go to a celebration of praise to an audience of ONE.

When you think about it, self-pity is a subtle attitude that God is not doing right by you, that He is holding out on you. Sounds a little like the temptation in the garden.

“But the serpent said to the woman, “You will not surely die. For God knows that when you eat of it your eyes will be opened, and you will be like God, knowing good and evil.”” Genesis 3:4-5 in other words, “God is holding out on you.”
Self-pity is unattractive in all its forms. People tend to do one of two things – 1. Join your party and agree with your whining; or 2. Tell you all the reasons you are wrong offering false flattery to build you up so you will feel better and leave your party. Neither is particularly helpful to your soul. You may feel better but has your self-centered attitude been redeemed in any way?

What we need when we go to our pity party is TRUTH. The truth of the Gospel. We need to stop listening to ourselves and start talking to ourselves (C.J. Mahaney).

What filter do you use for your thoughts? How do you know you are heading down a dark ally of self-pity? How about this one?

“Finally,” brothers, sisters, “whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things.” Philippians 4:8

“I say to everyone among you not to think of himself more highly than he ought to think, but to think with sober judgment,” Romans 12:3

A pity party is one party no one wants to come to. It is not a God-honoring party. It does not glorify God. The only entertainment is provided by the king of darkness. STAND CLEAR, SISTER, STAND CLEAR.


Diane Hunt is part of the Development and Addiction Recovery teams at America’s Keswick. In addition to being a Biblical Counselor, she is a Women’s speaker for retreats, conferences and events. She is a regular writer for Victory Call and one of the authors of Crossing the Jordan Bible Study. She has been married to her husband John over 28 years. She has 2 adult children, 4 grandchildren, 3 adult step-children with 7 grandchildren making 10 in all. She delights reading and teaching, but mostly laughing at the funny things her grandchildren say and do.

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