I’m a Big Fat Spoiled Brat

A blond haired toddler having a tantrum

Okay.

I have to admit it.

Summer is over.

I know what you’re thinking: “But Erin, summer has been over for 2 months now.”

I know.

But that doesn’t mean I have to like it.

Here’s the thing: there is a lot to get excited about when summer ends – Thanksgiving, Christmas, Pumpkin Spice Lattes, Sweaters, Bonfires, SNOW!! But I become a little bit of a… well, I’ll be blunt. I become a big, spoiled brat when summer ends. From my perspective, every day you get further into fall is a downward spiral, because it’s a day closer to winter, and after Christmas there is NOTHING good about winter.

So that’s why it’s taken me so long to accept that summer is over.

I’ve been talked to about this, actually. People tell me to “enjoy the season you’re in!” and “look at the positive!”

But like I just said, I become a big, spoiled brat when summer ends.

I notice I do this a lot with different seasons of my life. Just like I long for summer, I see myself often longing for past seasons of my life, and more often longing for FUTURE seasons of my life.

 “I can’t wait until I am in High School, then I’ll have a boyfriend.”

“I can’t wait until I get a driver’s license, then I’ll have freedom.”

“I can’t wait until I’m in college, then I’ll really ‘find myself.’”

“I can’t wait until I have a real job and move out… then I’ll really start my life!”

“I can’t wait until I’m married, then everything will be great and I’ll be perfectly happy.”

And then there’s the thoughts sometimes of…

“Ugh I miss when I didn’t have to worry about paying my bills or making my dinner or doing my TAXES.”

Looking back, I’ve been blessed with so much in my life. For example, I’d been praying for a job at Keswick since I was 15, and I was able to move out and begin working at this wonderful ministry at age 19. Once I did start working here, I felt (and still feel) so blessed, in awe, and thankful for the opportunity – A real “cloud 9” feeling. But then I immediately started thinking about the next step – getting married. Why??

I see myself relating a bit to the children of Israel, who experienced the blessing of being delivered from 400 years of slavery, and yet complained the whole time – even when the Lord provided exceedingly, abundantly, above all they could ask or think. I’m not saying that my past was anything near slavery; I’m saying that even when God’s blessings and provision are right before me, I still want more.

Girls, I think a lot of us struggle with this. But God wants us to “have life and have it abundantly” (John 10:10). We can’t do that if we’re always anxious for the next season or thinking about how we wish we could return to a past season of our lives.

Matthew 6:34 says Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.

This life is not “all about me,” and I don’t want to look back at my life and see that in every season, I’ve been waiting for the next. I want to enjoy the season God has me in. More so, I want to THANK THE LORD for the seasons I’m in, because He’s blessed me with them, and fulfill the purposes He has for me in all of them. He’s sovereign over all seasons, loves me enough to design them just for me, and has a purpose for every one. That sure is humbling!

Walk in Joy Today!!

  • Erin

Erin Culleny serves as a Marketing Assistant and Staff Writer. She loves encouraging women through her Victory Calls and finds such joy in praying for her sisters in Christ. Her favorite activities include reading her Bible, encouraging others with scripture, buying new makeup, buying dresses, and eating at the Cheesecake Factory… In that order!

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