Scripture clearly talks about how we as wives must submit to our husbands….this is what the Lord commands of us. But wait….He didn’t tell me that my husband would be disabled and I would need to take leadership today and then in 2 days from now back to submitting. Wait….now I have to be a single mom at times too…..and yet submit??? Where is the rule book for being a wife of a disabled husband? Do the rules change in this game? Do you feel alone, confused, frustrated, overwhelmed with your new norm?
Well I did for years and years until I came to a place and found a new norm. We as women are trained to submit to authority and are trained that we must submit to our husbands. But how does this work when he is not always actively involved in being the head of the house?
Here are a few questions I have had…..
• What is my new role?
• What is his new role?
• Who is the real head of the house?
• What plans do I need to make?
• How do I go on with my new life?
• Where do I turn for help and support?
• How do I be the head and not feel quality?
First I needed to remember that God planned my life and has already gone before me and that He knew that my husband would not be able to drive, not be able at times to be the head, not be able at times to be an traditionally engaged dad, and that what I would remember my “normal” husband to be would change.
We can look at 2 women of the Bible:
Job’s wife …..Job was not disabled but in a very bad way that could cause him to not be able to be the “husband” his wife needed. What did she tell him…..curse God.
Abigail in I Samuel 25…she had a husband who could not be a “husband” for her that we would expect …so she needed to use the wisdom God gave her. She had a firm relationship with her Lord and that is what she could hold on to. She used strength and wisdom to save her family.
Both of these decisions are both available to us….we can curse the Lord for what we are now living in and with or we can use the wisdom that God has given us ( or will freely give if we ask) to help us make wise choices and decisions and to lead our family in the right direction.
Some verses to help:
Where God promises to take care of the widow and the fatherless. (This can be used in similar situations.)
If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you.
Lynn Wilson a wife and a mother of two. Currently on Staff at America’s Keswick for the past 20 years. She has been involved in her local church in women’s ministries as well as speaking for other churches and retreats. Her mission statement would be to…touch one life so in turn they can touch a life for eternity. Her greatest joy is to go home at the end of her work day and spend time with her family and enjoy her first ministry which is being a wife and mother.