In the last 18 months, on five separate occasions, I’ve spent multiple days in the hospital sitting beside the bed of one or the other of my children. Ain’t nothing about that easy.

Today is day one of the fifth hospitalization. I’m feeling gads of emotion for which I find no tangible comfort (at least, not at this exact moment) and thinking myriad thoughts, all tumbled together, constantly agitating my soul. My soul longs for, pants after, rest and peace. It feels like none is in sight.

So as I look out of yet another hospital window, the view is a welcome distraction. What I see from this sixth floor window is people–people of all shape, size, color, and walk of life.

From below, I hear sirens and from the hallway just outside the door of my daughter’s room…well, you can probably guess how noisy that is. After all, hospitals aren’t known for being quiet, or restful for that matter.

So what’s the one thing running through my head right now? Simple: life goes on. Time waits for no one.

The hurrying, rushing to and fro never stops; the plans and appointments of man don’t skip a beat. Life simply goes on. With or without me, it keeps moving full steam ahead.

All is vanity…a chasing after the wind. There is nothing new under the sun.

Part of me wants to scream and shout and demand: “Stop! Don’t you see me? Don’t you see us? Do you get the pain that rests on these shoulders, in this body? Do you care?”

Another part of me finds a level of relative calm in all the movement and sound because it’s proof that life, indeed, does go on. We live, breathe, move and have our being no matter what circumstances or situations life brings our way. No matter what we stumble upon or into, our very being is solidly secure in the Master’s Hands.

Ah, yes. There is a Source. And therein is the place of comfort, peace, rest…and anything else my/our souls need to aid us in abiding and enduring our “whatsoever”.

He that comes to the shelter of the Most High, shall abide under the shadow of His wing. He can say of the Lord, He is our refuge and our strength in any and every situation.

The Lord our God is perfect, lacking nothing. He withholds no good thing from His children.

Dear sisters, how is your soul faring today? Are you secure in the reality and truth of His unchanging hand? Are your mind, will and emotions anchored deep in the Word of Life?

I hope so. I pray that whatever crazy or unexpected way your day may have begun, that you will pause now and behold your God, high and lifted up, mighty to save, forever faithful. Selah.

Stephanie Paul

Stephanie serves as part of the Addiction Recovery Team at America’s Keswick as Director of Women of Character. She has been married for over 30 years to Sesky Paul who is a graduate of the Colony of Mercy. They have two grown children.
Her single focus in ministry at Keswick is to image Christ in grace and truth to wounded and hurting women, encouraging them to make Jesus the truest Lover of their soul and the One in whom all hope lies.