Have you ever had a blah moment? You know, those days when you don’t want to know or be known by anyone? Every once in a while I have one and while I am spiritually aware of the darkness that surrounds such moments, I am also aware of how subtly my flesh enjoys that darkness.
My soul (my mind, will and emotions) can sink into the mist of my darkness and, before I know it, set up camp. Like sticks gathered for a nice warm fire, my mind gathers all of its stinky thoughts and along with my will and emotions have a grand ol’ time rehashing the injustices, the pains, the slights, and the unfairness of it all.
In moments like these, I allow my flesh to rise up and wander down corridors and into doors long since closed and sealed…along with all their dirty little secrets. I feel emotions long since surrendered and I feel the draw of dread, despair or hopelessness.
Even though everything in me knows better, on occasion, I still allow myself to be sucked in and I make a conscious choice to do nothing. The worst part of it is I begin to identify myself with all that I am feeling. Ugly, fat, stupid, unwanted, unloved, worthless…the list goes on.
And then, I hear the sweetest sound. Oh how I love that sound! Only He.; the One who is Hope, who speaks to my deepest inmost parts can make this sound,; a sound that is barely a whisper, but it’s enough to capture my attention. (I wish I could put it in a word but I can’t). All I know is I hear it and it causes me to lift my eyes upward, thus breaking hold of the downward spiral.
With my voice, I cry out and the Comforter is there to counsel me and remind me who I am, who I am not and most importantly, WHOSE I am.
I am not my bad feelings. I am not my worst moments. I am not my mistakes. I am not defined by any of that. I am who Father says that I am!
How are you feeling today? Are you having a blah moment?
Stop! Look up! Listen! Remember Whose you are! You are a daughter or The King,; the Most High God!
The One Who Is Holy!
He, Christ Alone, is our hope, our comfort, our peace, our sanity…our everything!
Together, let’s kick blah to the curb and stand in the power of Christ, fully persuaded that nothing can or will ever be able to separate us from Him or His love.
Stephanie Paul serves as part of the Addiction Recovery Team at America’s Keswick as Director of Women’s Addiction Ministry. She has been married for almost 30 years to Sesky Paul who is a graduate of the Colony of Mercy. Stephanie serves alongside him as Care Group leaders in their church. They have two grown children. Her single focus in ministry at Keswick is to image Christ in grace and truth to wounded and hurting women, encouraging them to make Jesus the truest Lover of their soul and the One in whom all hope lies.