Yesterday I shared the first portion of a brochure called Modesty Check written by Carolyn Mahaney, Nicole Whitacre, Kristin Chesemore and Janelle Bradshaw.  Today I share the remaining portion for your encouragement and challenge:

Before you leave the house, do a modesty check. (What are some things you should look for as you stand in front of your mirror?)

Starting at the top…

* When I am wearing a loose-fitting blouse or scoop-neck, can I see anything when I lean over? If so, I need to remember to place my hand against my neckline when I bend down.

* If I am wearing a button-down top, I need to turn sideways and move around to see if there are any gaping holes that expose my chest. If there are, I’ve got to grab the sewing box and pin between the buttons.

* The same check is needed if I am wearing sleeveless. When I move around, can I see my bra? If I do, I need the pins again.

* Am I wearing spaghetti-strap, halter-top or see-through blouse? Not even pins will fix this problem! Most guys find these a hindrance in their struggle with lust. It’s time to go back to the closet.

* Can I see the lace or seam of my bra through my shirt? In this case, seamless bras are a better option.

* More key questions: Does it reveal any part of my cleavage? Does my midriff show when I raise my hands above my head? Is my shirt just plain too tight? If the answer is “yes” to any one of these questions, then I need to change my outfit.

Moving on down…

* Does my midriff (or underwear) show when I bend over or lift my hands? If so, is it because my skirt or my pants are too low?  Either my shirt needs to be longer or I need to find a skirt or pants that sit higher.

* I also have to turn around to see if what I’m wearing is too tight around my derriere, or if the outline of my underwear shows.  If so, I know what I have to do! 

* And for my shorts – I can’t just check them standing up. I need to see how much they reveal when I sit down. If I see too much leg, I need a longer pair.

* The “sit-down” check applies to my skirt or dress as well. And I must remember to keep my skirt pulled down and my knees together when I’m seated.

* And speaking of skirts, watch out for those slits! Does it reveal too much when I walk?  Pins are helpful here.

* Before I leave, I need to give my skirt a “sunlight check.” Is it see-through?  If so, I need a slip.

* Finally, I must remember to do this modesty check with my shoes on. High-heels make my dress or skirt appear shorter.

* And don’t forget – this all applies to formal wear as well.

* A note on swimwear: It’s not easy but you can still strive to be modest at the pool or beach. Look for one-piece bathing suits that aren’t cut high on the leg or and don’t have a low neckline.

This is part two of a two part series from the Modesty Check (c) Sovereign Grace Ministries

Republished in Girl Talk: Mother-Daughter Conversations on Biblical Womanhood by Carolyn Mahaney, and Nicole Whitacre (Crossway Books)~~ used with permission.

If you are interested, the Modest Heart Check brochure can be found in PDF form as a free download at: http://www.sovereigngracestore.com/ProductInfo.aspx?productid=A1170-06-59.

I found this Modesty Heart Check brochure very insightful and helpful. I pass it along in two parts for your consideration and edification:

Modesty Heart Check 

By Carolyn Mahaney, Nicole Whitacre, Kristin Chesemore, Janelle Bradshaw

“…Women should adorn themselves in respectable apparel, with modesty and self-control, not with braided hair and gold or pearls or costly attire, but with what is proper for women who profess godliness-with good works.” 1 Timothy 2:9-10

Start with a heart check…

“How does a woman discern the sometimes fine line between proper dress and dressing to be the center of attention? The answer starts in the intent of the heart. A woman should examine her motives and goals for the way she dresses. Is her intent to show the grace and beauty of womanhood? Is it to reveal a humble heart devoted to worshipping God? or is it to call attention to herself and flaunt her beauty? Or worse, to attempt to lure men sexually? A woman who focuses on worshipping God will consider carefully how she is dressed, because her heart will dictate her wardrobe and appearance.” John MacArthur  [Emphasis added]

* What statement do my clothes make about my heart?

* In choosing what clothes to wear today, whose attention do I desire and whose approval do I crave?  Am I seeking to please God or impress others?

* Is what I wear consistent with biblical values of modesty, self-control and respectable apparel, or does my dress reveal an inordinate identification and fascination with sinful cultural values?

* Who am I trying to identify with through my dress? Is the Word of God my standard or is it the latest fashion? 

* Have I asked other godly individuals to evaluate my wardrobe?

* Does my clothing reveal an allegiance to the gospel or is there any contradiction between my profession of faith and my practice of godliness?

This is part one of a two part series from the Modesty Check (c) Sovereign Grace Ministries

Republished in Girl Talk: Mother-Daughter Conversations on Biblical Womanhood by Carolyn Mahaney, and Nicole Whitacre (Crossway Books)~~ used with permission.

If you are interested, the Modest Heart Check brochure can be found in PDF form as a free download at: http://www.sovereigngracestore.com/ProductInfo.aspx?productid=A1170-06-59.

Steph once made the statement that “people get dressed intentionally.” 

If you do not think you dress intentionally perhaps it is time to start dressing intentionally to the glory of God.  Many girls/women dress intending to turn a head, to draw the eye of a particular man, or men in general.  A woman can feel a sense of excitement from getting a positive reaction from a member of the opposite sex.  My theory is that this sense of excitement is the female form of lust.  Lust is defined as personal inclination or intense desire (Merriam-Webster Online Dictionary). For men, lust is an issue of the heart but is typically enticed through the eyes. For women, I would say the same is true with a significant variation. For women, lust is an issue of the heart but is typically enticed through the eyes LOOKING AT HER.  For men, lust is passive in the sense that it is fanned into flame through what he takes in from outside of himself, what he sees or looks at and then mulls over in his mind. For women, lust is active in the sense that it is fanned into flame through what she sends out from inside herself, how she dresses, sits, or moves her body which results in a reaction from a man.  The power to entice and the intense longing for attention can cause women to dress in a sensual way.

The styles today can create a problem simply because of the fabric they are made with.  I know a lot of women who do not wear slips.  Sometimes that can create a less than desirable result.  I saw a woman recently in a cute modest dress but she wasn’t wearing a slip and that dress clung in all the wrong places, and I doubt she was even aware of it.  

Romans 6:13 And do not present your members as instruments of unrighteousness to sin, but present yourselves to God as being alive from the dead, and your members as instruments of righteousness to God.

I only see two options:  either we will present ourselves to God as an instrument of righteousness and dress to glorify Him, or we will present ourselves as an instrument of unrighteousness and dress to glorify self.  Not choosing to dress intentionally to glorify God will, by default, result in dressing to glorify self.  Which do you choose today?

Diane

Yesterday I shared about the attitude of our hearts regarding the battle the enemy has mounted in the area of lust and sexual immorality.  I believe he is gaining ground. Lest you think I’m wrong consider these pornography statistics 1 

The United States ranks 4th in the world in revenue made on pornography 

The United States is ranked #1 in pornographic video production

Each day there are 68,000,000 pornographic search engine requests

Each day there are 2.5 Billion pornographic emails

42.7% of all internet users view pornography

35% of all internet downloads are pornographic

The average age of internet pornography exposure 11 years old

26 children’s character names linked to thousands of pornography links

72% of visitors to pornographic websites are male; 28 % female

17% of women reported having a pornography addiction

53% of Promise Keeper men reported having viewed pornography in the past week 

Here are two Hunt statistics:  We are 100% responsible for where our eyes go and hearts linger.  We are 100% responsible for our choice to be women of modesty, purity and dignity.  

Women, will you step up and join the battle against evil by dressing intentionally to the Glory of God?

Diane

1 http://familysafemedia.com/pornography_statistics.html#anchor4 (accessed 5 22 08)

Another year has passed already.  This is the week for the past 3 years that I have shared a series on modesty and purity.  Memorial Day typically kicks off the summer with warmer temperatures and sticky humidity and people wear lighter and less clothing.  As I write this we are in a week of rain, rain and more rain and I wonder if summer will come at all. It is not that modesty is only an issue in the summer, it is God’s desire for us all 365 days of the year.  However, I doubt anyone would argue that it becomes a more evident issue with the warmer weather.  The beaches and pools are packed to overflowing, and the amusement parks and ice cream stands have long lines.  People are out and about.  

It is disheartening when I see young women (and some not-so-young) wearing attire that would have only appeared in pornographic magazines 30 or 40 years ago.   If it is catching my attention, you can be sure it is turning almost every male’s head.  Sure there are men out there intentionally looking, ogling anything female, but I would venture to guess that they are not the majority.  I think the majority are men with wives and families and daughters who are accosted with sensually and scantly dressed girls and women everywhere they go.  I wish I could say they could just flee to the church but, sadly, it is not safe even in the churches.  

Women of God, it is time to stand up and battle the enemy as he is gaining ground in the hearts and lives of the men of our churches, our husbands, our sons, our brothers, our pastors.  We need a new attitude of compassion and support rather than condemnation and irritation.  

Please hear my heart.  I am not blaming scantly dressed women for any man’s sinful attitudes or actions!  Each man is 100% responsible for where he allows his eyes and heart to linger.  I would also say each woman is 100% responsible for her own attire and her attitude towards this whole area of struggle for her male counterpart.   It is a cop-out to chalk it up to being “his problem.” More than that, it is short-sighted, superficial and flat out sinful.  

Which one of us would sit in the foxhole painting our nails when our fellow soldier was waging war against our enemy who appeared to be gaining the upper hand? NOT A ONE!  I believe every one of us would jump to the aid of another in our company doing battle alongside them rather than against them.  Let’s carry this word picture into the modesty, lust and purity battle.  Can you see how God calls us alongside rather than against our brothers in Christ?  

How do your wardrobe choices reflect love for Jesus Christ?  How does your attire reflect love for your brothers in Christ?  How does the way you dress reflect your heart?

Romans 13:10 “Love does no harm to a neighbor…”

Luke 10:27 “‘You shall love the LORD your God with all your heart, with all your soul, with all your strength, and with all your mind,’ and ‘your neighbor as yourself.'”

Diane

Diane Hunt is the Director of Addiction Recovery Ministries at America’s KESWICK, Biblical Counselor, Conference and retreat speaker, Victory Call writer/editor, wife, mother, grandmother, and nut, and not necessarily in that order.

So here I sit with every intention of having a nice uninterrupted devotional time. It’s early in the morning, and the house is quiet because everyone else is still counting z’s. I have my Bible, my journal, my coffee, my tissues, (I don’t even want an all-of-a-sudden runny nose to interfere with my God-time). I have my pens, high-lighters, etc. I’m ready to commence and nothing is going to stop me. The one thing I didn’t factor in or anticipate was my flesh. I had no idea how opposed it would be to my desire to go deeper, and God…

The opposition would begin the moment I opened my Bible. Even though it’s first thing in the morning and my mind hasn’t even fully revived for the day, I find it racing around at a crazy pace. So much so that it’s difficult, very difficult, for me to focus on the words I’m attempting to read. I’m keenly aware of myself having to read the same words over and over again and the reason I’m doing that is simple. I’ve determined that my time with God is not going to ever be reduced to something I merely check off of my daily “to-do” list.

So, as I am determined not to let my flesh win this particular battle, there I sit reading and rereading the set of verses.  Day after day, I found myself in this same battle. Initially, I wasn’t even sure what was happening but as time passed the Holy Spirit began to make me aware of something.  If I pressed on, my mind (my flesh) would begin to slow itself down and settle into what I was telling it to do. On average this process takes 15-20 minutes. What I’m learning is that it takes that long for my flesh to submit to what my spirit is longing for. But I have to. I must get through, press through, battle through those first several minutes. It occurs to me, that if I am only allowing myself 15-20 minutes each day, then all I will know is the battle and not the refreshing fruit and bounty of grace.  

Sometimes, if I’ve waited until the end of my day, the process takes longer because I’ve accumulated a lot of “stuff” in the course of a day and it’s all in there, churning and twirling and begging for some attention.  However, if I want to feed my soul and receive spiritual manna, I have to/we have to, press on and press in.  We have to tarry until something happens.

I have experienced and tasted the fruit on this laboring and nothing the flesh has to offer is worth skipping my time with God. I grieve myself and the spirit when I neglect my time with Him and therefore miss the blessing I’ll only receive as I tarry.

Today’s encouragement/exhortation:

Therefore submit to God. Resist the devil and he will flee from you. Draw near to God and He will draw near to you. Cleanse your hands, you sinners; and purify your hearts, you double-minded. Lament and mourn and weep! Let your laughter be turned to mourning and your joy to gloom. Humble yourselves in the sight of the Lord, and He will lift you up. 

~~James 4:7-10~~

For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the LORD, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope. Then you will call upon Me and go and pray to Me, and I will listen to you.  And you will seek Me and find Me, when you search for Me with all your heart.  I will be found by you, says the LORD, and I will bring you back from your captivity; I will gather you from all the nations and from all the places where I have driven you, says the LORD, and I will bring you to the place from which I cause you to be carried away captive.

~~ Jeremiah 29:11-14

Stephanie

These past 2 days of VC are just what the Holy Spirit wants us to hear right now today. He wants us to pause long enough to “get it,” or in other words, to GET WITH HIM and to do that we have to tarry until…

A few weeks ago Di and I were talking, and what I shared with her is one of those thoughts which I believe is straight from the heart of God to this plain thinking brain of mine. (I love that God speaks the language of every soul on the planet. Is that cool or what?!)

For a long, long time I’ve known the extreme value and importance that time with God -which we can also call devotions – is tantamount to health and well-being, not just for the body, but for the soul.

In the past few weeks and months I have had a renewed longing for more and more and more of my God. In fact, one of the things that God used to stir up my stagnant soul water was an online study, “90-Day Jump Start to a New You,” which went along with a book by Donna Partow titled, “Becoming the Woman God Wants You to Be (A 90-Day Guide to Living the Proverbs 31 Life).”

From the beginning she challenged us to create a place in our homes where we would regularly meet with God. I already had a place that I’d created for myself a couple of years ago.  I’m proud to say, I kept it clean and dust free. However, I’m not so proud to say that my meeting place with Him was sorely neglected. Why? The answer in a word is the FLESH: my flesh.

So, as this study was about to commence, my decision was to make undistracted time with God a priority. Making the decision was and is the easy part and most of the women I speak with make this choice fully intending to follow through, only to discover that they can’t do it for more than a few minutes. Why? Well, this is what the Holy Spirit showed me as I began a few weeks ago to press in to God.

The Holy Spirit showed me that my flesh is not in the business of thinking about God, let alone making it easy for me to spend time with Him. The flesh wants what it wants and it will pull every trick in its arsenal to keep my heart from turning toward home; from turning toward the One who made me, chose me and saved me; the One who justifies, sanctifies, keeps, sustains and has filled me with dynamite power from on High. 

So here I sit with every intention of having a nice uninterrupted devotional time. It’s early in the morning, and the house is quiet because everyone else is still counting z’s. I have my Bible, my journal, my coffee, my tissues, (I don’t even want an all-of-a-sudden runny nose to interfere with my God-time). I have my pens, high-lighters, etc. I’m ready to commence and nothing is going to stop me. The one thing I didn’t factor in or anticipate was my flesh. I had no idea how opposed it would be to my desire to go deeper, and God was about to show me something, that one simple little thing that would make my flesh sit down and shut up. But it wouldn’t be without a fight. Until tomorrow…

Stephanie

“For I know that nothing good dwells in me, that is, in my flesh. For I have the desire to do what is right, but not the ability to carry it out. For I do not do the good I want, but the evil I do not want is what I keep on doing. Now if I do what I do not want, it is no longer I who do it, but sin that dwells within me. 

So I find it to be a law that when I want to do right, evil lies close at hand. For I delight in the law of God, in my inner being, but I see in my members another law waging war against the law of my mind and making me captive to the law of sin that dwells in my members. Wretched man that I am! Who will deliver me from this body of death?” Romans 7:18-24 

 

We all understand in our own experience exactly what Paul is speaking of in this verse from Romans. Doesn’t it seem difficult, if not impossible, to seek and savor, to delight in, to worship and meditate on Jesus Christ though we really desire to so?  I appreciated this quote from a book I have been reading. It’s sad but true. 

 

“You can feel the hostility of the flesh whenever you approach God – it makes real love for him into work: Digging around the Bible to find a juicy new insight to impress your small group is like sailing the Caribbean, but poring over the Scriptures to find the Lover of your soul is like skiing up Mount Everest. Conjuring up a happy mood with some music you don’t even know the words to is like solving 2+2 with a calculator. But savoring the glory of Christ and his tender love until your heart is softened toward him is like using mental math to calculate pi to the thousandth place. And giving a birthday present to your best friend is like forcing down some double-fudge brownies. But giving up your extra bedroom to a homeless person in the name of Jesus is like eating the Rockies for Breakfast.” (The Enemy Within: Straight Talk about the Power and Defeat of Sin ~ by Kris Lundgaard)

Understanding the power of our flesh is not to destroy all hope but rather bring clarity and great hope.  If we don’t know the poison we can’t take the proper antidote.  Please hang in there with me.  This is life transforming truth.  

Tomorrow, Stephanie will share some thoughts about the battle of the flesh that I found genuinely honest, transparent and personally inspiring.  Her thoughts added one more piece to the puzzle and I asked her to write them down for this series on the flesh.

Diane 

       “Which is easier: to sit with a bucket of butter-soaked popcorn and watch Tom Cruise on the big screen for two hours, or kneel and pray for five minutes? Tom Cruise wins hands down, because there is literally no competition. What the flesh hates is God, so it resists anything that smacks of God-especially communion with Him.  The flesh can curl up by your side and watch mindless movies all night long. But let even the barest thought of meditations flutter into your mind, the flesh goes to Red Alert. Before you get past “Our Father,” your eyes, which were glued to the screen, now sag in sleepiness, and your attention, which was so fixed on the plot, now zips around the universe faster than the Starship Enterprise.

“The flesh’s hatred of God explains a lot.” (The Enemy Within: Straight Talk About the Power and Defeat of Sin~ by Kris Lundgaard).  

Does this ring a bell?  When I read this a while back I began, perhaps for the first time, to realize that my flesh has it out for me.  Literally.  It is in self-protect mode.  It is very creative in finding ways to get its own way and all this time I was fairly oblivious to it.  Oh, I knew that I overeat, and doze off in prayer and wander hither and yon in my mind when I am trying to read the Bible, but I thought I was somehow different from most people I know.  I have been battling this for a long time and I am beginning to realize why I am seemingly losing the battle. MY FLESH.  Is it winning?  It seems to be.  Does it win? No.  Am I crucified with Christ? Yes.  My flesh didn’t get the memo.  

My spirit desires God, my flesh resists God.

My spirit seeks God, my flesh avoids God.

My spirit wants to read the Bible, my flesh does not.

My spirit yearns for prayer, my flesh dozes off.

My spirit is willing but my flesh is weak.  

“Watch and pray that you may not enter into temptation. The spirit indeed is willing, but the flesh is weak.” Matthew 26:41

I cry out with Paul, “Wretched (wo)man that I am! Who will deliver me from this body of death?” Romans 7:24 () mine

I am going to sign off for now, but do not be discouraged.  There truly is victory in Jesus Christ and clarity and understanding is a necessary step to experiencing that victory.  “and you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.” John 8:32

Tune in tomorrow.

Diane

The opposite of unbelief is faith.  Faith is taking God at His word.  There is a children’s song that says “God said it, I believe it, and that’s good enough for me.”  Hebrews 11:1 says “Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see.”  This does not mean that we hope that it is true but rather a hope of anxious expectation.

Hebrews 11-the great faith hall of fame.  Let me share just of few brief examples.  By faith we understand that the universe was formed at God’s command…By faith Abel offered God a better sacrifice than Cain…by faith Enoch was taken from this life…By faith Noah, when warned about things not yet seen, in holy fear built an ark… By faith Abraham, when called to go to a place he would later receive as his inheritance, obeyed and went…By faith Abraham, even though he was past age-and Sarah herself was barren-was enabled to become a father …By faith Abraham, when God tested him, offered Isaac as a sacrifice…By faith Isaac blessed Jacob and Esau in regard to their future… By faith Jacob, when he was dying, blessed each of Joseph’s sons…By faith Joseph, when his end was near, spoke about the exodus of the Israelites from Egypt and gave instruction about his bones 

We can hold God to His promises, and stand firm there.  We must be careful that we are not claiming promises that God never made to us.  We can become very disappointed if we claim a promise that is not a promise and therefore fails to be fulfilled.  Make sure you stand firmly on HIS promises.

 

Diane