If the pattern of anger is not realized and confessed, repenting and asking forgiveness before God, the sinful anger continues taking root in our hearts as bitterness. In God’s Word, the Bible, we are cautioned to be “looking carefully lest anyone fall short of the grace of God; lest any root of bitterness springing up cause trouble, and by this many become defiled;” Hebrews 12:15.

Bitterness has a good memory of the past wrongs others have committed against us, and as we brood on them and rehash the situations, the memories grow larger and soon a spirit of resentment and bitterness becomes the pattern of our life. Beth Moore, author of Praying God’s Word, makes this statement, “…since the root feeds the rest of the tree, every branch of our lives and every fruit on each limb ultimately becomes poisoned.”1

Some of the “poisoned fruit”, or symptoms, of a stronghold of bitterness manifested in a person’s life may appear as behaviors of complaining constantly, depression, nit-picking, frequent illness, and lack of energy. Bitterness is perpetuated by practicing bitterness; it is like a cumulative snowball that grows larger by feeding on itself. There may be certain times or places that a person rehashes or broods on particular events that perpetuate the bitterness. In the book, Women Helping Women, author Penny J. Orr uses the term “rituals of addiction”2 which describes this type of behavior that leads to any bondage, such as that of bitterness. I have found that the way out of this cycle is by “…bringing every thought into captivity to the obedience of Christ,…” (2 Corinthians 10:5). This is done by prayer, surrendering those thoughts, words and actions to Him by praying for the person or situation that has brought up the bitterness within you.

Remember that the offender is not as hurt as you are by your anger, bitterness and resentful spirit. By genuinely releasing these hurts to God and forgiving those who have offended you, there will be freedom from the stronghold of bitterness in your life as God brings healing – emotionally and spiritually. Author Gary Chapman states, “It is never our job to vindicate ourselves by making people pay for their wrongs.”3 “Repay no one evil for evil. Have regard for good things in the sight of all men. If it is possible, as much as depends on you, live peaceably with all men. Beloved, do not avenge yourselves, but rather give place to wrath; for it is written, “Vengeance is Mine, I will repay,” says the Lord” (Romans 12: 17-19).

A change in our thought patterns is now necessary since negative thinking feeds bitterness. Negative thoughts need to be replaced with kind-hearted thoughts and biblical truth. Two Scriptures that will bring the focus toward filtering our thoughts are Ephesians 4: 31, 32, “Let all bitterness, wrath, anger, clamor and evil speaking be put away from you, with all malice. And be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God in Christ forgave you.” And Philippians 4:8, “Finally, brethren, whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy – mediate on these things.”

1 Beth Moore, Praying God’s Word, 2000.
2 Penny J. Orr, Chapter 15 “Counseling Women with Addictions”; Women Helping Women, Elyse Fitzpatrick & Carol Cornish, General Editors, 1997.
3 Gary Chapman, The Other Side of Love, 1999.

(For more about overcoming Bitterness & Resentment, see Chapter 7, “Anger and Bitterness”, in Crossing the Jordan, CLC)

(The topic of Forgiveness is covered more fully in Chapter 8, “Biblical Forgiveness”, in Crossing the Jordan, CLC)

DIGGING DEEPER
James 4:15-16
Instead you ought to say, “If the Lord wills, we will live and do this or that.” As it is, you boast in your arrogance. All such boasting is evil.

It’s finally here!!! Crossing the Jordan: Living Victoriously in Difficult Relationships by Diane Hunt, MaryAnn Kiernan, DeEtta Marsh, Stephanie Paul and Betsy Shoppy (several of our Victory Call writers). Today’s Victory Call is just a taste of what you will find in this Bible Study for women. Although it was originally written for wives of men in addiction it has already been a blessing to women from various circumstances and relationships: moms, siblings, daughters, wives, fiancees, etc. Most of the 14 chapters are applicable to any woman in any situation. To secure your own copy contact America’s Keswick Guest Services 732.350.1187 $16.00. If you have any questions contact Diane Hunt at dhunt@americaskeswick.org.

I observed the woman in the grocery check-out line just ahead of me. Her small children were busy climbing on the over-laden cart. The woman seemed concerned with what the total bill might be.

My husband and I bantered back and forth with the woman and her children. We even suggested some membership food stores that might help her keep the cost down. She explained that she came to this store because she was new in town and she didn’t fear getting lost when she came to this store since it was an easy and direct drive from her home.

Her bill was finally totaled and it was quite high. The young woman sighed and paid the bill with a credit card.

It was the middle of the night before it hit me…I could have paid that bill! Why didn’t I think of that when I was in the check-out line? I had let an opportunity go by to represent Jesus well. Why?

I wasn’t really looking for a chance to represent the Lord well, was I?

Paying for that young woman’s groceries would have been a big thing, at least to her, and I missed it, but I often miss the smaller opportunities, too…a chance to buy lunch for a homeless person, a simple thank you to a discouraged person, thank you notes often can be forgotten, a note of encouragement to someone who feels perhaps unnoticed.

When our children were little, we served in a Christian ministry and had cut our salary in half to join the ministry. One Sunday, I was grumbling and groaning about how little food we had in the house and how my family deserved better fare than I could give them. I continued to mumble and grumble as I perused my pantry. I found a can of pears and I also found some cream cheese in the refrigerator, so I put pieces of lettuce on individual salad plates, placed the pear on top, rolled some cream cheese into a ball and placed it in the center of the pear. My attempt to “fancy-up” the meal looked very meager to me, but my young son came into the dining area, saw the salad and said “Boy mom, we’re living more like millionaires every day!”

Dear Lord, Please keep my eyes open so that I can see opportunities to represent You well. Don’t let me miss my chance, Lord.

Prov. 3:27 Withhold not good from them to whom it is due, when it is in the power of thine hand to do it.

Marilyn Willett Heavilin

Marilyn is a wife and mother, author, and international conference and retreat speaker. She and her husband Glen serve as Counselors-in-Residence at America’s KESWICK during the summer months.

DIGGING DEEPER
James 4:15-16
Instead you ought to say, “If the Lord wills, we will live and do this or that.” As it is, you boast in your arrogance. All such boasting is evil.

It’s finally here!!! Crossing the Jordan: Living Victoriously in Difficult Relationships by Diane Hunt, MaryAnn Kiernan, DeEtta Marsh, Stephanie Paul and Betsy Shoppy (several of our Victory Call writers). Today’s Victory Call is just a taste of what you will find in this Bible Study for women. Although it was originally written for wives of men in addiction it has already been a blessing to women from various circumstances and relationships: moms, siblings, daughters, wives, fiancees, etc. Most of the 14 chapters are applicable to any woman in any situation. To secure your own copy contact America’s Keswick Guest Services 732.350.1187 $16.00. If you have any questions contact Diane Hunt at dhunt@americaskeswick.org.

Let’s face it — we all have a problem with anger at one time or another. How we should handle the annoyances, conflicts, offenses, and disappointments of our life is what is important for each of us to discover.

The first picture that comes to mind when we think of anger is one of rage and cruelty of a person toward another person or situation or object. But often anger can be expressed by holding it in and giving the silent treatment to those we are angry with. Neither of these reactions works successfully in resolving the problem, but often are directed toward a person and act as an influence in making things worse. Resentment and bitterness can result from prolonged anger in a person’s life. Just seeking to change our behavior and “controlling our temper” is not a permanent solution to the problem either.

So how then should we handle our anger? By asking God to show us the root of our anger and biblical solution to deal with the problem, we can begin by trying to identify the “why?” or reason for our anger. One definition of anger is, “God-given energy to help us solve problems Biblically”.1 Another is, “A powerful emotion that is often misused to hurt others.”2 We react emotionally to unmet expectations or perceived injustices.

By journaling your anger reactions for a few days, it is easy to see the pattern of the anger in your own life. Perhaps there have been unmet expectations of others or self, fear of the future, the unknown, unfulfilled desires, goals and wants, or simply the desire for control. These all can lead to an anger reaction to our circumstances in life that reveals what is in our heart. When we become aware that our anger is an offense to God, confession and repentance are necessary for change to take place in our heart and life. Ephesians 4:31 and 32 tell us to replace “Bitterness, Anger, Wrath, Clamor, Evil speaking, and Malice” with “Forgiveness, Kindness, Tender-heartedness” because through Christ God has forgiven us. The Holy Spirit gives us the biblical alternative and the power to “aim all your energies at solving the problem God’s way”.3

Becoming aware of an offense, we must check our own motives, asking God to give direction in bringing about positive change for solving the problem, while seeking to not destroy another. Pray for wisdom.

1 CJBI Biblical Counseling class, Anger notes, Semester 3, Dr. Dan Skogen.
2 Anonymous. The A to Z Guide to Bible Application, 1996.
3 Jay E. Adams, “What Do You Do When Anger Gets the Upper Hand?”, 1975.
(For more on Handling Your Anger, see Chapter 7, “Anger & Bitterness” in Crossing the Jordan, CLC)

DIGGING DEEPER
James 4:15-16
Instead you ought to say, “If the Lord wills, we will live and do this or that.” As it is, you boast in your arrogance. All such boasting is evil.

It’s finally here!!! Crossing the Jordan: Living Victoriously in Difficult Relationships by Diane Hunt, MaryAnn Kiernan, DeEtta Marsh, Stephanie Paul and Betsy Shoppy (several of our Victory Call writers). Today’s Victory Call is just a taste of what you will find in this Bible Study for women. Although it was originally written for wives of men in addiction it has already been a blessing to women from various circumstances and relationships: moms, siblings, daughters, wives, fiancees, etc. Most of the 14 chapters are applicable to any woman in any situation. To secure your own copy contact America’s Keswick Guest Services 732.350.1187 $16.00. If you have any questions contact Diane Hunt at dhunt@americaskeswick.org.

Can you believe we are 2/3 of our way through 2011? It has been a very busy summer and I feel like I’m just coming up for air. I trust you have been seeking hard after God and know that He delights in you today wherever life happens to find you.

James 4:15-16
Instead you ought to say, “If the Lord wills, we will live and do this or that.” As it is, you boast in your arrogance. All such boasting is evil.

Commentary
The key to vv. 13-17 is if the Lord wills, with “Lord” referring to Yahweh as the Creator who sustains the universe and whose will controls all that happens. Every business decision must be based on submission to God’s will. [ESV study Bible notes pg. 2397] “If the Lord wills. The true Christian submits his plans to the lordship of Christ…boasting. Arrogant bragging about their anticipated business accomplishments.” [The MacArthur Bible Commentary by John MacArthur pg. 1894]

Blessings,
Diane

Diane Hunt is the Director of Addiction Recovery and Development at America’s KESWICK. In addition to her Keswick responsibilities which keep her busy, she loves to read, write and teach, travel and laugh with her grandchildren. Diane has been married to her husband John over 26 years. She has 2 children, 3 grandchildren, 3 step-children, and 7 step-grandchildren.

It’s finally here!!! Crossing the Jordan: Living Victoriously in Difficult Relationships by Diane Hunt, MaryAnn Kiernan, DeEtta Marsh, Stephanie Paul and Betsy Shoppy (several of our Victory Call writers). Today’s Victory Call is just a taste of what you will find in this Bible Study for women. Although it was originally written for wives of men in addiction it has already been a blessing to women from various circumstances and relationships: moms, siblings, daughters, wives, fiancees, etc. Most of the 14 chapters are applicable to any woman in any situation. To secure your own copy contact America’s Keswick Guest Services 732.350.1187 $16.00. If you have any questions contact Diane Hunt at dhunt@americaskeswick.org.

“What is your life? For you are a mist that appears for a little time and then vanishes.”

Points to Ponder:
Maybe it’s age. Maybe it is recent events with a friend’s passing. I don’t know, but I find myself giving some thought to the “What’s next”. Are you, like me, living mostly for today? I was thinking this week, am I storing up treasures in heaven? What heavenly reward am I sacrificing because I’m living more the self-life than the surrendered life?

What is a mist? It is nothing of substance that you can grip or grasp, try and it wafts away. Life is much like that. The harder we try to hang on the less of a hold we have on it.

I was reading in Psalms this morning, Psalm 39:4 “O LORD, make me know my end and what is the measure of my days; let me know how fleeting I am!” I wrote in the margin of my Bible, “Lord – am I living in light of eternity?” Because at the end of the day, at the end of my life, eternity will be all that matters.

Blessings,
Diane

Diane Hunt is the Director of Addiction Recovery and Development at America’s KESWICK. In addition to her Keswick responsibilities which keep her busy, she loves to read, write and teach, travel and laugh with her grandchildren. Diane has been married to her husband John over 26 years. She has 2 children, 3 grandchildren, 3 step-children, and 7 step-grandchildren.

Sometimes the guilt and shame of our past sin seems to overwhelm us. We may be stuck in the lie of “I just can’t forgive myself.” Have you been there in the past? Perhaps you are feeling that way now.

The idea of forgiving yourself doesn’t have a biblical foundation, yet this forgiveness of self haunts so many of us. The idea of “forgiving yourself” is a concept that has come from the secular world but it has begun to infiltrate some churches and Christian/biblical counselors as well. But Jesus never prescribed forgiving yourself for your sins. It was Jesus who did the forgiving and admonished those He forgave to…”go and sin no more.” (John 8:11)

You may “feel” that the only way you will be whole would be to forgive yourself. But there are some very important things to remember:

* In the concept of self forgiveness, you are actually placing yourself on the throne of judgment and have decided to be your own judge. But God is the only one who judges and the only one that forgives. You are actually placing yourself as sinner, judge and redeemer. And this can’t be.
* If you have acknowledged your sin before God and if you have asked forgiveness of the one you have sinned against (if that is at all possible) then you must let it go. It is forgiven; Jesus paid the price once for all. You can’t pay a debt that has already been paid. The blood of Jesus covered your sin.
o 1 John 1:7 “…the blood of Jesus Christ His Son cleanses us from all sin.”
o Revelation 1:5 “…To Him [Jesus] who loved us and washed us from our sins in His own blood.”
* If you still feel pain over your sin – rather than define it as a need to forgive yourself – think of it as regret and this is a totally normal response. Regret is sometimes mislabeled as not “feeling” forgiven. Regret can be a good emotion because it helps build humility and compassion in our hearts for others.

When feelings of pain or regret creep into your thinking, take the time to stop and think about God’s forgiveness, that Jesus has stamped your debt of sin “paid in full”. Then thank God for the blood of Jesus that made it all possible.
o Romans 8:1-2 “Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus, because through Christ Jesus the law of the Spirit of life set me free from the law of sin and death.”
o Isaiah 43:25 ” I, even I, am he who blots out your transgressions, for my own sake, and remembers your sin no more.”

What a wonderful God we serve! He has done all the hard work and sacrifice and we just need to come to the place of truly understanding that Jesus is the one who paid the price to set me free! Halleluiah!

Mary Ann

Mary Ann Kiernan and John have been married for 36 years, have 2 grown/married sons and are the proud grandparents of three grandsons and finally… praise the Lord… a granddaughter! She serves at America’s Keswick as a Biblical Counselor and the Intake Coordinator for the Colony of Mercy. Her life verse is Romans 8:28.

DIGGING DEEPER
James 4:14b
What is your life? For you are a mist that appears for a little time and then vanishes.

There are two different types of prisons that we can find ourselves in. There is the obvious. The physical state of being locked behind iron bars when convicted of a crime through our court system. This is usually imposed on a person who has been convicted of a crime and sentenced to a certain amount of time behind locked doors. In this type of prison the key to freedom is held by another.

There is another prison, the one into which we ourselves have walked in the prison, closed the door and locked it… all the while holding the key to freedom in the palm of our hand. This is a place of pain, hurt, anger, bitterness …this is the prison of unforgiveness. It’s a most sorrowful place to be because it is of our own choosing. We hold the key to this prison and there are times that we refuse to let go and be set free.

Why would we do such a crazy thing? Why would we imprison ourselves? Other people may be responsible for the pain in our lives but we have the choice to imprison ourselves and allow the pain to continue and damage our present and future. The longer we stay there by choice the more it will affect not only the relationship with the one we refuse to forgive, but the collateral damage affects other relationships as well and ultimately builds a wall between us and our heavenly Father.

We struggle with and even avoid forgiveness because it’s so difficult to do when we have been hurt so deeply. Without a doubt forgiveness is a superhuman undertaking apart from God. Yet we are called to do so.

Colossians 3:12-14
New Living Translation (NLT)
12 Since God chose you to be the holy people he loves, you must clothe yourselves with tenderhearted mercy, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience. 13 Make allowance for each other’s faults, and forgive anyone who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others. 14 Above all, clothe yourselves with love, which binds us all together in perfect harmony.

Forgiving those that hurt us is not an option. We are called to “forgive anyone who offends [us]”. I haven’t found any loopholes in Scripture. There isn’t a clause that states, “forgive all but the sin of ______ against you.” You can fill in the blank. Scripture says we “must” forgive. The reason? “Remember, the Lord forgave you.” Without Jesus paying our debt for sin on the cross we would not have a chance to be forgiven for our sin. He did all the work; He paid the price to set us free from the prison of hell for eternity.

It is only when we know Jesus as Lord and Savior of our lives, when we grasp the enormity of what He did for us that we can even entertain the idea of forgiving those who have sinned against us. Even then it is impossible to forgive in our strength or will. It is in the surrendered life to Jesus that we can forgive because it is Christ living in us Who gives us the strength and power to forgive others.

When we choose to forgive others we use the key that we have held so tightly to open the door of our prison and we are free! Free of the entangled roots of anger, bitterness and unforgiveness! No longer is there a wall between us and the Lord. It allows us to have a deeper more intimate relationship with the Lord AND others in our lives.

Is there someone you think you can’t forgive? Go ahead make the choice to forgive, not through your strength or power but through Jesus Christ who is your power and strength. Set yourself free!

Mary Ann

Mary Ann Kiernan and John have been married for 36 years, have 2 grown/married sons and are the proud grandparents of three grandsons and finally… praise the Lord… a granddaughter! She serves at America’s Keswick as a Biblical Counselor and the Intake Coordinator for the Colony of Mercy. Her life verse is Romans 8:28.

DIGGING DEEPER
James 4:14b
What is your life? For you are a mist that appears for a little time and then vanishes.

Should we move or shouldn’t we? That was the question we asked ourselves recently. The decision was in regard to Hurricane Irene.

Our ‘house’, a 38 foot motor home had been parked on the campus of America’s Keswick for more than two months.

We sent out an e-mail to our newsletter mailing list of about 200 addresses asking that they pray and we would receive clear directions. “GET OUT OF THERE. DRIVE, DRIVE, DRIVE” was the core of the messages we received back. But, but, but, we said back in response. We felt sluggish and slow in making a move, so we threw out another fleece besides the e-mail. If we were able to get a space at our favorite campground, we would pack up and leave. One call was all it took. We got a space easily even though availability on the weekends on very short notice was almost unheard of. So…we packed up and pulled out of Keswick in about an hour, with the plan to return the following Monday.

The wind continued to blow briskly in this area, and the rains came. I still wasn’t sure we had done the right thing, especially when it took 4 hours to drive about 100 miles. The trip was very tiring, and I kept wondering, Is this trip really necessary?
The storm actually turned out to be milder than predicted. I kept thinking, Did we jump ahead of God? Maybe we shouldn’t have come after all.

However, I finally got my official answer. A picture was posted on Facebook. The brown grass outlines our parking space at Keswick with a tree in our space! Thank You, Lord, for moving us out of the way of that falling tree.

Matt. 7:25 And the rain descended, and the floods came, and the winds blew, and beat upon that house; and it fell not: for it was founded upon a rock.

And that rock is JESUS CHRIST!

Has this trip been easy? NO! But has it been God-guided? Yes, oh my, yes!

Marilyn Willett Heavilin

Marilyn is a wife and mother, author, and international conference and retreat speaker. She and her husband Glen serve as Counselors-in-Residence at America’s KESWICK during the summer months.

DIGGING DEEPER
James 4:14b
What is your life? For you are a mist that appears for a little time and then vanishes.

People die. Sometimes children die. Each time it happens it reminds us of the transitory nature of life. In light of eternity, our life is a mist. Here one day and gone the next. Most days admittedly I live as if I’ll live forever. Lots of time to share the gospel with that neighbor; lots of time to tell that loved one how much they mean to us; lots of time to stop that sin; lots of time to send that card of encouragement; lots of time to make things right with the brother offended and lots of time…

James 4:14b
What is your life? For you are a mist that appears for a little time and then vanishes.

Commentary:
“God alone knows the future…vapor (mist). This refers either to a puff of smoke or one’s breath that appears for a moment in cold air. It emphasizes the transitory nature of life…” [The Mac Arthur Bible Commentary pg. 1895}

“These business people think they control events but fail to recognize God’s providential control and the temporary nature of life, which is like a mist that can fade away at any moment. Planning and investing are not wrong, but arrogant self-confidence and boasting are.” [ESV Study Bible study notes pg. 2397]

Blessings,
Diane

Diane Hunt is the Director of Addiction Recovery and Development at America’s KESWICK. In addition to her Keswick responsibilities which keep her busy, she loves to read, write and teach, travel and laugh with her grandchildren. Diane has been married to her husband John over 26 years. She has 2 children, 3 grandchildren, 3 step-children, and 7 step-grandchildren.

James 4:13-14a

Come now, you who say, “Today or tomorrow we will go into such and such a town and spend a year there and trade and make a profit”- yet you do not know what tomorrow will bring.

Points to Ponder

“yet you do not know what tomorrow will bring” – Over the years I have had to learn to hold my plans with a loose hand. So many times I have been disappointed because things did not go the way I wanted, the way I planned. This especially happens when you have small children – they tend to get sick at the most inopportune times.

When you make plans do you do so as if you get to decide what tomorrow brings or is there the foundational belief somewhere in the back of your mind that truly God is sovereign and that only He knows tomorrow, in fact he not only knows it He has purposed and determined it.

Nothing will happen tomorrow that will catch Him by surprise.

Nothing will happen tomorrow that will disappoint Him, because He already knows it.

Nothing will happen tomorrow that will thwart His will or plan.

Nothing will happen tomorrow that He has not ordained or allowed.

Nothing will happen tomorrow that He cannot redeem.

Nothing will happen tomorrow that He cannot take you through.

Nothing will happen tomorrow that is beyond His ability or desire to forgive.

Nothing will happen tomorrow that is too big for His grace.

Nothing will happen tomorrow that is beyond His control.

Nothing will happen tomorrow that is beyond the reaches of His love and mercy.

Nothing will happen tomorrow that will stump or confuse Him.

Nothing will happen tomorrow that He has not already woven into His plan, His purpose and His goal for your life.

You may not know what tomorrow will bring, but He does.

Blessings,

Diane

Diane Hunt is the Director of Addiction Recovery and Development at America’s KESWICK. In addition to her Keswick responsibilities which keep her busy, she loves to read, write and teach, travel and laugh with her grandchildren. Diane has been married to her husband John over 26 years. She has 2 children, 3 grandchildren, 3 step-children, and 7 step-grandchildren.