I have been pondering this question. As women we are relational and ALL relationships are important to us. The problem we face most often is that people, even Christian friends, will let us down. I’ve experienced this. I’ve been let down and I’ve done the letting down. Yet, I want to look at my own heart and examine myself as a friend.
         Here are some things I have been pondering about friendships:
1. Do I listen more than I talk?
2. Am I inconvenienced by a need that arises in my friend’s life?
3.  Do I serve or want to be served?
4. Am I able to show mercy, grace and forgiveness?
5. Do I share about my friend with others under the disguise of a “prayer request”?
6. Even if not breaking a confidence, do I share other people’s stories that aren’t mine to share?
7. Am I honest with my friend about myself and her?
8. Do I allow little or big things to get between my relationships with other sisters in the Lord?
9. Am I the kind of friend that I want in my life?

          I have also been pondering this about friendships:
1. Not everyone has to like me, not everyone will, and that needs to be okay.
2. Am I grateful for a few friends or do I have an unhealthy need to have a lot of friends?
(FYI- Facebook is not a real count of your friends!)
3. Do I discern who I am close to?
4. Do I look for healthy relationships that will encourage and edify me in my walk with Christ?
5. Do I look to build others up in their walk with Christ?

          Well, ladies it is tough. Relationships are between two people and one of them is me. There will be times of heartache in any relationship, friendships included. But here are a few of my goals in the midst of what can sometimes be messy friendships:
          “If it is possible, as much as depends on you, live peaceably with all men.”  Romans 12:18
          “Make no friendship with an angry man, and with a furious man do not go.” Proverbs 22:24
          “A friend loves at all times.” Proverbs 17:17
          “He who covers a transgression seeks love, but he who repeats a matter separates friends.” Proverbs 17:9

          I could quote much more on friendships – the Book of Job comes to mind! However, you can find plenty about being a friend and the wisdom to pick good friends right in the Word of God. You can become the friend God wants you to be even if you have been let down by others and let others down too.

Blessings,
Kathy Withers

Kathy’s on staff at America’s KESWICK in the Development Department. Kathy has been married to her husband Dave for 27 years.  They have two adult children. Kathy is active in her local Church and has taught Sunday School and Bible Studies for women. Her passion is to encourage women to deepen their walk with Jesus Christ by finding and living out the truths of God’s Word.