“Last night I fell into a dark hole, a pit of depression. I didn’t see it coming. This bad mood came out of nowhere and pulled me down into a dark discouragement. Have you ever felt this way?

          Yesterday was actually a good day. For instance, I began the day with an hour in solitude on my morning run, enjoying the bright morning sun, the beauty of the lake, praying for my family, and memorizing a chapter of Scripture. In counseling appointments and a prayer meeting with ministry leaders I was honored to join in Christ’s work and sensed him using me to minister his care, wisdom, and encouragement. I was blessed to share in a wonderful dinner…Where did this pit of depression come from? Maybe it started at the end of my run when I had pain in my knee and I became afraid that three months of training for my upcoming marathon would be wasted. Maybe I was weighed down more than I realized by absorbing the pain of others or engaging in spiritual warfare on behalf of a ministry that’s under attack…I know that I felt disrespected…but I thought I had worked that through. I know I’ve been reflecting a lot on turning 50 years, but mostly this has been positive.

          It wasn’t until later in the evening that I fell into the foul mood. I was trying to catch up on paperwork, scheduling a number of ministry events, and dealing with some administrative issues for our ministry and family that involved getting organized and making decisions…As I was working at my desk I started muttering complaints. I can’t catch up. I’ll never catch up! I just can’t handle this stuff and I’m not good at this stuff. Kristi expressed her concern for me…offering to listen to me, but I distanced myself. Why would I say no to love? Why would I chose to wallow in my dark pit alone?

That’s the pit of depression.
I was tired.

          The Psalmist prays, ‘On my bed I think of you Lord through the watches of the night… Answer me quickly before my spirit fails – rescue me from this pit!… Yes, the Lord is my Shepherd I shall not want anything else.’  (Psalm 63:6, 143:7, 23:1, paraphrased and blended).

          Thank God for Psalm prayers! Sometimes the only way I can pray effectively is to grab ahold of some words like these from the Psalms and hold on for dear life! This is what I did…as I lingered in bed, drifting in and out of sleep.

          Then I woke up, not just physically, but spiritually. I sat up on the edge of my bed with clear vision. I hadn’t just fallen into the pit, I’d been pushed in there!…With courage and determination I engaged in spiritual warfare and prayed:
…Christ before me. Christ behind me. Christ beside me. Christ above me. Christ is my foundation. Christ is all around me. Christ is my shield. The name of Christ is in my heart and on my lips. I go forward in the mighty name of the Lord Jesus Christ.

           Jesus Christ is my all and all! He is my reason for living, my love, my joy, my peace, my power. He is my victory. He is the victory for each person I meet. Amen.

          …My friend, I pray that you would find refuge in Christ today and that his joy would permeate your body and soul. I pray that you would go forward to face your challenges today in the mighty name of the Lord Jesus Christ. May you be blessed by God to be a blessing to others today.”1

          Dear sisters, the above is only part of a Soul Shepherding devotional. If you want to read it in it’s entirety click the link below.

          Sometimes the Lord-Adonai chooses someone else’s words to speak truth to our hearts. When He does it’s important for us to pay attention. Is He speaking to you today? Do you hear His voice? What is He saying?

          NO Matter what else you do, pay attention!

Stephanie

Stephanie Paul serves as part of the Addiction Recovery Team at America’s Keswick as Director of Women’s Addiction Ministry. She has been married for almost 30 years to Sesky Paul who is a graduate of the Colony of Mercy. Stephanie serves alongside him as Care Group leaders in their church. They have two grown children.
Her single focus in ministry at Keswick is to image Christ in grace and truth to wounded and hurting women, encouraging them to make Jesus the truest Lover of their soul and the One in whom all hope lies.

1 http://www.soulshepherding.org/2013/01/i-fell-into-a-pit-of-depression/