I want to share this article by Dr. Charles Stanley with you because it spoke to my heart and answered a concern I have had for some time.

Many people object to the idea of accountability because they don’t see how other people’s actions are any of their business. But the Bible insists that we in the body of Christ all have a responsibility to one another.

Paul taught that if a believer is caught in sin, the strong members of the church are to help shoulder the responsibility of that person’s sin. They are to work with the sinner to help him get back on track (see Gal. 6:;1-3). This implies that our sin is other people’s business; and conversely, their sin becomes part of our responsibility. Nowhere in Scripture are we told that our sin is something just between us and God.

A woman in our church in Miami was married for only a short time when her husband revealed his homosexuality. Soon afterwards he left her to be with his lover. She told me something I shall never forget. “After I was divorced,” she said, “several of my friends came to me and said they knew he was gay before we married. When I asked them why they didn’t say anything, they replied, ‘We didn’t think it was any of our business.'”

After hearing her story, I made up my mind never to stand by quietly and watch a friend make what I felt sure was a mistake. This resolution occasionally makes me very unpopular. People have left the church over things I have confronted them about. But when I start thinking that maybe I should keep my mouth shut, I always remember Solomon’s words, “He who rebukes a man will find more favor afterward than he who flatters with the tongue” (Prov. 28:23).

It amazes me how often people come back to me or write letters to apologize for their reaction to my warnings. More often than not, they admit that they should have listened.

Remember this, in an accountability relationship you are not responsible for how the other person responds to you. But you are responsible to tell the truth and then continue to love that person through the process.(1)

Are we willing to speak up when we see another Christian living on the brink of falling or do we use the excuse “I don’t want to upset that person” or “I’m not sure it is any of my business”?

Of course we must do all things in love, but just think of how much pain we could help our brother or sister avoid if we were willing to speak up. Besides their pain, just think how much pain we could help them avoid if we knew we could stand before the Father and say, “I listened and I was obedient.”

“Happy is he that condemneth not himself in that thing which he alloweth” (Romans 14:22, KJV).

Marilyn Willett Heavilin
Marilyn Heavilin is a wife and mother; author & international conference speaker; author of Roses In December, December’s Song, Becoming A Woman of Honor, Profound Common Sense,
When Your Dreams Die, Grief Is A Family Affair,  I’m Listening, Lord.

1 The Charles F. Stanley Life Principles Daily Bible,(c)2007, page1170.